7 posts tagged “hospital”
So I'm in the emergency room, which is where I spend most of my life these days. I was sent directly here because I'm losing so much blood again today. The next step will be to admit me but I still need to go through the process. There's at least a 3 hour wait but they'll get me in sooner because of the critical nature of my reason to be here, or so they say.
I've done this so much I could do it with my eyes closed. I know what's about to happen. There's nothing for me to do except to watch the people around me. They're getting on my nerves, btw... The things that people consider an emergency amazes me. Because of them, this emergency room stays packed. There's a grandma who just rushed in with her 2 year old grandbaby. The mother was already here waiting for the Grandma to get here with her child. She needed a nebulizer treatment (the mother) because of her asthma. This could be serious, I know so I don't begrudge her much. The thing that gets on my nerves is that this 2 year old baby stopped eating and drinking a couple of hours ago. THIS, my friends, is the emergency with this family. I don't know about any of you but my kids, quite frequently, stop eating and drinking for a few hours at a time. The Grandma is shouting at the intake nurse that her baby needs to be seen now. I'm hearing the intake nurse ask about this baby's medical history. I'm SURE there must be a medical history for all this drama. There is not. They didn't even call the pediatician before they came here because they just knew there's something terribly wrong. Meanwhile the baby is running around acting like a normal 2 year old. She' yelling and playing and running. She doesn't want to be held by the grandma. The mom of the baby looks like she's about 15! She has nothing much to do with the situation except to yell at the triage nurse that her nebulizer treatment isn't working. She YELLED this so I'm guessing that the nebulizer did indeed work.
The next thing on this family's agenda is to start shouting back and forth to each other, "Mom, did you call Matthew?". I'm assuming Matthew is the dad. Matthew has indeed been called and he's taking off work to come into the emergency for the big family drama. The Grandfather and the great aunt have been called too. Everyone will be here soon. Now the Grandma hass decided that her knee is in terrible pain because she had to walk across the parking lot holding the 2 year old. She may need to be seen too, she tells the intake nurse. Before she, too, can be triaged, she called her son to bring her som Naproxen. She's very loud and sitting across from me so I can hear her conversation. "You may need to take off work to go home and get my Naproxen. My GD knee is KILLING me because I had to carry Autumn across the GD parking lot and I'm about to die now son". Now she tells him there's no hurry but she's in so much pain that she doesn't know how much longer she can take it. Nobody is watching the baby.
All this because a 2 year old hasn't eaten or drank anything for a couple of hours? I'm hoping that I'm missing something! These things keep me occupied while I'm in here for my own 3 hour or so wait. Maybe I'm getting bitter in my old age but these people stink AND they get on my nerves. I'm wondering when they've had a bath last? I can guarentee you it hasn't been within the past few days much less the pst few hours. Blech.
This is a very little update to let all of you know that I've been in the hospital since yesterday. I haven't felt "wonderful" for a while now so the doctor did some tests and found more GI bleeding. Today I had a scope done to reveal a new ulcer that wasn't detected before. The location of this one is where the surgeon cut me and reconnected the tissue. They tell me this is fairly normal. Ulcers like to develope in places that have been "tampered" with. There is a lot of scar tissue. That's the bad news. In 6 weeks, the GI doctor will be rescoping to decide if I'll have to have even more surgery to remove more of my stomach and/or intestines. In the meantime, he caurterized it to stop the bleeding.
I'm not cherishing the idea of being here but I'm SO pleased with my GI doctor for disrupting his schedule today in order to get to the bottom of this new problem. He could have put me off and performed the scope on Monday, all the while keeping me in the hospital. As it is, I'll get to go home tomorrow if all remains well.
Even if I have to have surgery, I'm so much more healthy now that I've been receiving iron infusions. I'm thinking that I won't get the news that there is a high probability that surgery will kill me this time. I haven't had to have a blood transfusion in almost 6 months, I think.
Other than this, I can NOT begin to relay to you the boredom that I'm having now! lol There's just not that much entertainment in the hospital, you know? At least I have a private room AND my internet air card is working so I can still talk to all of my cool peeps! lol
Hope all is well with you and you're having a very happy Friday!
I need to say that I am as bored writing about this as you must be reading about it. I feel like I need to though because some of my good vox buddies have been concerned that I haven't been around lately... much.
Friday, out of nowhere, I started vomiting more blood. How's that for TMI? lol Anyway, I called the doctor instead of waiting like I usually do. She immediately had me admitted into the hospital and by 9:30 a.m. Saturday morning they went in and found, yet, another bleeding ulcer. It was cauterized on the spot and I was able to leave the hospital on Monday morning. No big deal this time. My blood counts have started to rise and it seems like they were able to stop all of the bleeding this time. The good news is that I caught it in time this time instead of trying to pretend that nothing was wrong.
Today is another iron treatment. Assuming they can find a vein because I'm fairly sure the nurses at the hospital blew up every good vein I had left in my body. All that means is that I may have to get a permanent catheter inserted under my skin where they won't ever have to worry about getting a vein again. They'll just use the little port thing. I guess that would be good, although I'm not cherishing the idea of having some little box like thing sticking out of my skin. Maybe it won't be forever.
Thanks for hanging in her with me and just know that I've been thinking about all of you and wondering what's been going on in your lives:-)
As many of you know, I've been gone for a pretty long time. Some of my good Vox buddies have asked me to post something soon to let everyone know what's going on. This one is a tough one and I really didn't want to do it because, well, I don't like whiners and to post this kind of feels like I've become what I dislike most... A whiner. I have a problem admitting that something may be getting the best of me. I've been so strong all my life and I've even defeated death (with Gods help and blessing) quite a few times. That being said, I don't like having to talk about things like this because to talk about them is to make them real.
I spent much of the Christmas season sick. I was very lucky to be allowed to leave the hospital in order to spend Christmas with my family. For those of you who know me, you know I was having a nervous breakdown over this. I didn't have my Christmas shopping done or my baking done (there are a lot of my friends who count on getting Christmas cookies and breads frome me! lol). Julia's last year to believe in Santa was probably this year and I was racing against the clock to make this one a special year. So... I feel blessed that my doctors let me leave the hospital less than a week before Christmas. But I digress...
My digestive system is indeed shutting down. For the first time ever I had to have a feeding/drain tube inserted through my nose and down my throat. That was very painful but thankfully the process was quick. My new doctors are trying to prepare me for getting a feeding tube inserted, at least temporarily. I have yet another bleeding ulcer on the side of my stomach. I'm losing blood almost as fast as they can give it to me. My hemogloban level was a 6 (normal women should be a 15). The good news was that this ulcer looked to be very curable. They did what they could to make it stop bleeding but it's still bleeding. So, there are many problems this team of professionals have to solve with my body.
Yesterday, I went to the doctor. She says she's not giving up on me yet and she'll research new specialists personally until she's satisfied that they really can't do anything more for me. She says she won't except the answers from the doctors who say that there's nothing more that can be done. She told me that she sees me as a person who is so full of life. And I am, mentally. I just want to feel like doing something more than sleep, you know? I do push myself as much as humanly possible. The problem is that when you have so little blood, you can't even breath right which makes it hard to do even the simplest of chores.
The long and the short of my story as I heard from the horses mouth (the doctor) yesterday is this: If they can't figure out why I'm developing all of these bleeding ulcers, they can't fix me. Everything they've been doing is only a temporary fix, at best. I have family members who've offered to give me their blood but even if I could afford to have the blood processed and stored with Red Cross, they still wouldn't approve me for a transfusion until my blood is below an 8. The reason is that once you get so many transfusions, it's more than likely that your body will develope antibodies to the foreign blood. What that means is that my body will go into shock trying to fight the foreign blood and I will then not ever get another transfusion again. Which will kill me. I am seeing a new hemotologist just to see if there's some way to get my blood healthy enough to receive iron through a slow IV drip. Or if there's ANYTHING else he can suggest. Apparently, iron would help my situation but being "chronically ill" for 2 years has made my blood very unhealthy and even if it was healthy, I'm just losing it too quickly. If they gave me iron now, it would make me very, very sick becuase my blood would reject it. It's all a catch 22.
Ok, so here's what I believe. Situations that have seemed impossible for me to overcome in my lifetime, have turned around and gotten better in a days time. That's God's handywork. I'll give him the credit. This is really no different. Once they get rid of this ulcer, I believe it's entirely possible that another one will never develope. They don't even know why they keep developing so it just seems logical to me that these ulcers could disappear just like they came. My life just happens like that. While there's a breath left in my body, there's hope. I really believe that.
Sorry for this depressing kind of post. I really hated to do it but I feel like I owe it to all of you who've cared about me to tell you what's going on. Thanks for all of your prayers and happy thoughts:) I really do feel them, I want you all to know that. Thank you Kelly for offering your home to me if I decide to take a trip to Johns Hopkins too. I still can't tell you how that touched me. I'm crying now thinking that there really are such caring people in my life. I am truly blessed. Thanks for listening:)
I'm home from the hospital again! I just got released after a 5 day stay this time. I swear I've spent more time in the hospital than out of the hospital this month and I'm not liking it. THIS time, I was in for 2 obstructions. Last week I was in for 1 obstruction. I don't want to know hospital terminolgy but, sadly I'm learning. I don't want to know the nurses personally, but I'm starting to. I don't want to know how every item on their menu taste but I'll bet I could tell you. You get the picture?! I never get lonely in the hospital because I have so many visitors, usually. This time around, I started missing my kids something FEIRCE so Julia agreed to spend the night one night and not go to school. This might not be a big deal to MOST kids but for Julia, it's huge! She's OCD (Obssessive Compulvsive Disorder) BAD and doesn't EVER like to miss school. Julia wanting to stay with me is an unusual thing. It didn't last long because the next day, she was bored and Mom picked her up. My aunt Nancy came and got her from Mom's house and brought her home (to my house) and ALSO brought my family some of her famous home made meat loaf and potatoes (my kids like hers WAY more than mine so I'm jealous! lol) with some Halloween shaped huge sugar cookies. My family almost fares better when I'm gone than when I'm healthy and home! lol I'm home now and I think they may be upset that nobody's going to feel sorry for them anymore. I wish I could have tasted my aunt's meatloaf but there was none left when I got home. Damn kids!
I was able to convince the doctor that I was going to be able to eat 6 small meals a day. And by small, I mean 1 peanutbutter cracker constitutes a meal. A container of yogurt is another meal. I'm the woman you could eat a rack of ribs or a 20 oz steak by myself! I don't know about this small meal thing. I want to EAT and this seems like the most cruel trick God could have played on me! When I cook for the family, tasting the food that I prepare for them is considered a meal. Anyway... I also had to tell the doctor ahat I'd keep myself hydrated. That means more water than I'm comfortable drinking. I think Gatorade will be on hand here constantly.
I was able to get online last week though because Ben bought me a little device called an "air card" that I plug into my computer and it allows me to slowly get onto the internet. It's the cooles thing! I didn't get a chance to use it too much because there were too many tests they made me take and I had too much company. I hope not to ever have to be admitted in the hospital again to find out how it works!
Not knowing how to even start this so I'll just jump right in... I can NOT thank all of you enough for your warm wishes, positive thoughts and prayers!!!!! I logged onto Vox last night for the first time and was blown away with all of the pm's and comments. I don't know why I was blessed with such a great network of friends and know I really don't derserve ANY of you but I'm so thankful!. I'll send to each and every one of you warm hugs (sadly, it's going to have to be virtual again) and all of my thankfulness:) I'm going to try and get back with each one of you individually but I may not have enough time. If you don't hear from me personally, please know that you're in my heart and you aren't LESS important.
I wish I could give you a full update but it would bore you and take me too much time. I WILL tell you that my experience in the hospital was a nightmare from start to finish. I would highly reccomend that any of you who HAVEN'T seen the movie "Sicko" yet, please do see it. It truly amazes me that our so called health care professionals are even in the business of caring for another living soul. I would be hard pressed to want to bring my pet ant to see some of these doctors or allow some of the nurses who took care of me to care for my pet ant! lol Assuming I actually had a pet ant. I need to tell all of you that if you ever have the misfortune of finding yourself in the hospital, be alert enough to have the nurses explain every medication that they try to give you. If you can, always have someone with you who can witness what they're trying to do to you (or not do). I was very fortunate to have been alert PLUS I was never alone. Either my mom, Amber or Ben was there at all times. I had the forsight to have a nurse explain the medication that she was trying to make me take. I didn't recognize any of it. The names were different. The nurse tried to convince me that the hospital substitutes my medication with generics that they choose. This is true but it turned out that the medication was all wrong, generic substitution or not. Once I pointed this out to them, everything went down hill. I never recieved the medication that keeps me alive on a day to day basis. I have to take digestive enzymes in order to digest ANYTHING I put in my mouth. I never got them and as a result of this, I developed an obstruction. My stomach was very close to perferating and killing me. The doctor wouldn't call me back or Ben back because (it turns out) that he was mad that the nurses called him 20 times in the middle of the night about my bad behavior. He was pissed and he was in no mood to hear a word from me or Ben. Long story short, I will no longer be "vacationing" at THIS hospital! I'm in the process of looking for another general practitioner.
These are some of the fringe benefits I received once I complained loud enough. The director of nursing came in from out of town to talk to me, the nursing supervisor and several hospital directors decidied that I should have the VIP room that was 3 times the size of my old room. It had hard wood floors and a plasma tv! Hospitality wheeled in a cart of bakery goods, snacks, soda, ice, coffee, tea and other goodies for my guests:) Small consolation for the way they originally treated me but they all did assure me that the nurses involved were "dealt" with and that I would be happy with the outcome. I still am at a loss as to how some of these people really do believe that we are all in the hospital for a vacation and just to make the poor nurses jobs harder. I am so nice to these people, almost to a fault. My family says that I'm too nice. The nurses and doctors don't take me seriously because I'm always laughing and trying NOT to act sick (because I'm so sick of being sick). They really did take advantage of me. It wasn't just a matter of my pride (which is a HUGE deal in itself) but their neglect was a matter of life and death. I'm trying to get this part through my head because it's always in my nature say "maybe they were just having a bad day". I don't think they should be allowed to "have a bad day" in the sense that their patients will suffer. I've always tried to remember that if we are dealing with humans, there will always be room for human error. I can not stress enough how wrong my attitude has been with the health care industry. We have a right to our lives despite the "bad days" of several nurses who are too lazy to look in a chart for written orders. Or WHATEVER the circumstance! Just be on top of your own health and don't let a doctor make you feel like you're taking too much of their time. If they're overbooked, maybe they need to downsize? maybe thy don't need us for a patient? These are some things everyone needs to think about. I've always sympathized with how busy everyone is and have never wanted to be more of a burden for these people. The truth of the matter is that THEY are getting rich or at least getting paid so much more than me. All I'm asking is for them to do the job that they signed up for.
I'm so thankful for my mom, Ben and my daughter taking time off work just to be with me and to help fight my battles. I've always wanted them to go home and not waste their time by staying at the hospital. It made me feel bad. Now I know how important it really is. Anyone who's ever been in the hospital probably knows that if it's only YOU laying there, and someone (nurse, doctor) doesn't feel like doing their job that day, it will be your word against THEIR word and you're not likely to win. These days, we really do need someone to stay with us. I'll be admitted into a DIFFERENT hospital on Tuesday. They tell me that I'm bleeding profusely now and I have no choice but to have the incredibly risky surgery. I will have to have even more of my stomach removed along with some of my intestines. I can't keep having blood transfusions any longer because I've had too many too close together. My body is building up antibodies against other peoples blood. When that happens, I'll start rejecting all blood and I can't live that way. My surgeon is one of the best in the midwest and he's a trauma surgeon. He did my last one and knows what he's up against even if he doesn't "like" doing the surgery. I don't have a lot of choices because apparently these new doctors don't do this surgery anymore. Medicine cures most ulcers. Only the old "tried and true" doctors know how to do it.
So that's it in a nut shell! Wish me luck:) I'm afraid but I have a strong faith and my affairs are now in order (thanks to mom! lol). I'm worried about my kids and I've seen the grief in my parents eyes (and of course Ben and my brother). I have so many friends who are lifting me up right now. I FEEL their prayers and their positive energy. Maybe I don't know what to think about all of this but I do believe that whatever happens is what's supposed to happen. I would desperately like to live though. So if you have some extra time and feel like it or remember to, please say a little prayer for me:) It'll bring me a long way.
Just thought I'd let everyone know that I wouldn't be around for a few days. I need to go to the hospital and get another transfusion. The doctor just called and let me know that my hemogloban count was near critical and my iron level apparently sucks too. This isn't such BAD news because once they give me blood, I'm going to feel awesome like I always do (after a transfusion)! The sucky thing about hospitals is they really DON'T have good food:) I live for food but I haven't had an appetite lately anyway so maybe it won't matter. Also, their shower stalls suck. Have you ever tried to shave your legs in a hospital shower? It's never a smooth shave, at least not for me. lol
Anyway, I need to take a shower now before Ben gets home so we can go. When I talk to you all again, I'll be a different woman! God Bless ALL of you! I wish good things for you:)
ps.... I hope they give me some high-energy person's blood! lol
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