3 posts tagged “god”

Today, one of my nurses told me that I had such a good attitude about everything that I was going through.  She said that I should start a support group for women who are going through similar issues, when I got done being sick!  lol  I told her that I don't think I'd be good at that because I don't have patience with people who whine and a lot of times, I hear women (and men) whine about their situations instead of trying to make the best of it.  The nurse said that that was why I would be good at it.  She thought I could bring things into perspective with other people.  I have the attitude that my illness is just a "thing".  It's really the way that I feel.  We deal with what we're given and there really isn't a LOT of time to whine and feel sorry for myself.  This is just the hand that I was dealt.  "If not me, then who else", is kind of my motto.  My bad ass attitude got put into place today.

Right after I announced how little tolorance I had with others, I went outside to smoke.  While outside, I met a woman about my age.  She'd snuck out also.  We started talking and I learned that she was terrified because the doctors thought she had lung cancer.  Her story started 5 years ago when she went to the doctor because she'd just been so tired.  She was usually a high energy person.  She thought maybe she was low on iron or something like that.  It ends up that she had hepatitus C, the deadly kind.  They'd given her 10 years to live 5 years ago.  More currently, Thursday, she went to the ER because she couldn't get rid of the flu.  It just wasn't going away.  They ran some tests and so far they think she has lung cancer.  Tomorrow, they'll do a scope on her to biopsy.  If the scope doesn't work, they'll cut her chest open to biopsy that way.  WOW!  Instantly, I knew that God was reminding me that I didn't know how other people felt.  I might have felt like this woman was whining because she went to the ER with flu symptoms.  God was trying to put me in my place.  I prayed for her.

On the way back up to my room, some very sad man held the elevator open for me.  He got off on the same floor as I did which is the cancer floor.  Out of the blue, he says "So this is the BAD floor, isn't it?".  I said that I'd heard stories of it being the BAD floor (meaning cancer floor) but not everyone had cancer that was on this floor.  He said that the doctors just called him because his 40 year old sister who has liver cancer had MAYBE 72 hours to live.  He started crying.  Now I'm thinking to myself "Ok God.  I get it.  I should have NEVER assumed that everyone besides me was a whiner".  I am humbled.

July Fun 025

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You know those times in your life when you get down and you can't explain exactly what's wrong with you?  I've been there in these past weeks.  I haven't been around here (at my house) very much since my surgery, I've spent more time at the hospital.  It's becoming apparent that my kids have suffered greatly because of this.  The little life lessons that I've instilled in them have gone by the wayside because I just haven't been here.  Let's face it, when the cat's away, the mice really WILL play!  This is probably why I'm having so much trouble with one of my teenagers - thus the post before this one (just scroll down if you're interested).  These things would normally not happen with my girls.  They're for the most part some really good girls.  Well, I have a hands on friend who is going through so much of her own stuff right now yet she takes the time to call my girls when she knows I'm in the hospital, just to ask if they've had their showers or if they've done their homework.  There was even a time when SHE noticed that Danielle was wearing something inappropriate and she called her on it and asked Danielle to change (Danielle obliged - because, well mostly because my friend has my disposition and Danielle knew she'd BETTER! lol).  My friend's name is Beth (pictured above - NO Marty this is really not me! lol).  It is SUCH a blessing to know that when I can't do something, a good friend will be there to pick up the slack for you.  This post really wasn't supposed to be about Beth though.

Pregame Cheer BASEBALL Youth

So to get to my REAL story....  Beth came by tonight.  I really wasn't feeling much like having company but it's funny how God works.  I really believe that I needed to hear what Beth had to say tonight.  Her son is very heavy into baseball.  He's hoping to play in the big leagues and I think he will.  His team was in a tournament for the championship over the weekend and the score was 4 to 2 (Beth's son's team was leading and it was apparent to everyone that they were going to win).  There was a doctors son on this team of 16 year olds who couldn't play because he really wasn't feeling well but nobody knew why.  One of the parents said something to this boys dad (who was the doctor) about his son wearing tenis shoes and not his usual spikes during a game.  Apparently this joking, good natured statement was enough to alert the doctor that something was terribly wrong with his son so he approached the dugout to find out what was going on with his son.  Just as he did, this rather large 16 year old, previously healthy boy started convulsing violently and proceeded to DIE!!!!!  Right in front of his dad, he just laid there and stopped breathing!  Thank you GOD that this child's dad was a doctor because he knew to start CPR immediately but it wasn't looking good.  Beth said that everyone stood still and kind of petrified!  Everything turned to slow motion.  Beth is a prayer warrior and her instinct kicked in so she immediately listened to what God wanted her to do.  She didn't even have to think about it.  She ran to the dugout and laid hands on this boy and started praying.  I guess the other parents saw what she was doing so they stood behind her and started thanking Jesus and praying for healing for this boy.  It took what seemed like forever but the boy breathed and coughed to clear his lungs.  THEN (as if this all wasn't dramatic enough) this boy started getting so violent that he was throwing several very large men off of him.  By this time, the paramedics arrived and he threw all five of these men off.  Beth kept her cool and was able to direct the paramedics in what they should be doing.  All the while, still praying.  Eventually, the hospital called back and told the paramedics to give this child a shot of valium so he did stop fighting and trying to hurt himself and others.  The thing that blesses me in the biggest of ways, wasn't my friend Beth or anything she did.  I know that God works through her and she listens.  It doesn't surprise me.  What blessed me was that during all of this the team was huddled with the coaches and so was the OPPOSING team.  They were all praying.  These boys are all from public schools and I don't need to tell you that 16 year old boys don't usually cry OR pray!  BUT they ALL did!  It wasn't important anymore what happened with the championship.  The sick boys team forfieted and gave the trophy away.  Now, what I think is going to happen is that the opposing team wont accept the championship under these horrible circumstances.  I think they'll call a rematch but what I think is nether her nor there.  The important thing to me is the demonstration of God's love.  It started with Beth and spread like a wave through the parents and the opposing team AND their coaches.  God found a way to bless this doctor who, I'm pretty sure didn't even believe in God.  I guess I shouldn't make that call, I'm going by what I'm told though.

Rainbow around the sun

Oh and the boy?  He's fine!  They think it was just a virus and he may never have another siezure again.  The doctors can't find a single thing wrong with him to indicate otherwise.  Praise God!

I just wanted to share this little story of hope with anyone else who may be needing a little beacon in the darkness:)

What's a leap of faith to you? Have you ever taken one?

A leap of faith to me just means just blindly believing that things will work out even when all the odds are pointing against you.  My life has been one example after another of taking a leap of faith (my mother likes to call it lack of planning or stupidity! lol).  The one that I feel like talking about now is the miracle of my first baby, Amber.  If I hadn't taken a leap of faith, she never would have been born.  I had pre-ecamplsia when I was pregnant with her.  That's just a fancy way of saying that my blood pressure was stroke level and I'd bloated up like a balloon (lot's of water retention and kidney stress).  I was 17, still in my senior year of HS and the doctor told me to quit school because of my health.  He didn't want me to climb the stairs or exert myself at all.  I couldn't agree to this (because I didn't understand that the baby could die) so he said that the school nurse should take my blood pressure everyday and she did AND I usually had to lie down and try to get the pressure back down below stroke level, all while I was at school.  It was bad.  During one of my doctor's appointments, the doctor told me and Mom that my test results were not promissing and that his only solution to my problem was for me to be admitted to the hospital while they induced my labor.  I was only 5 months pregnant and back then (and I'm pretty sure even now) there would be no possibility of my baby living.  In a nut shell, I had to abort my baby in order to keep myself alive.  If I didn't do as he suggested the best case scenario would be that I carry her to full term and she'd die anyway.  Both of our lives would then be in jepardy.  Not just mine.  He felt it would be easier to lose her at this stage of the game.  I laughed.  Ignorance can be bliss.

My obvious decision was to say "screw the doctor" and if God wanted me to lose the baby, I'd accept that or if he wanted me to die, I'd accept that too.  I left it all up to God.  My Mom must have been going insane, I'm not really sure how she handled it emotionally but she had the good sense to make me sit down and write out a living will, of sorts (before living wills were heard of I think).  I had to write down what I wanted done with the baby should I die.  I decided that Mom should raise her.  It's all so amazing to me that I had that kind of calm resignation at the age of 17!  I really always knew that God had a reason for this baby and I wouldn't die either.  Now, it ALMOST happened during her birth.  I'm pretty sure the doctor gave up on me and the baby.  Doctors don't like it when they're wrong, I've noticed.  It truly was a horrifying delivery but after about 2 days of HEAVY labor, they found a surgeon to deliver my VERY healthy baby girl and she was WAY overdue!  If I'd listened to the doctor and not had a leap of faith, I wouldn't have her now. 

10 months after she was born, my brother who was my protector, best friend and confidant was killed tragically in a car accident.  We had centered our lives around the fact that once he graduated, we would run away with Amber and start our lives without the abuse we grew up with.  He died 2 days before graduation. We never got to see the life we planned.  I didn't want to live, taking a breath became the hardest thing I had to do.  My life would have been over if it weren't for that baby that the doctor told me to abort.  Now, I know she has so much more of a purpose than saving me but that's exactly what she did - my baby saved my life.

Amber and mommy