shellakers’ blog

Smoky Mountains '08

nobody@vox.com(shellakers) — Tue, 09 Sep 2008 15:57:16 -0700

Now that it's the end of the summer, I finally feel like posting about our Smoky Mountain trip in July. I'm a little behind schedule but I really have had a good excuse, so bear with me please:-)

This was a strange trip. It seemed like we weren't really destined to get a vacation this year. As you all know, I had spent most of the year just trying to survive. I think the only thing that got me through (besides my girls) was vacation. I'm a restless soul and I love to travel. I MADE myself get well so I could spend this time with my family. At the last minute (the week before we were to leave), Ben was told that he had a manditory leadership meeting in Alabama even though he was already scheduled to take vacation. It was a hard decision but the trip was already paid for, so we decided to go without him. Besides, my brother and his family (all accept for Lauren) were going and they'd already scheduled off work. So did Amber. There was really no way to reschedule. It sucked for Ben and Savannah. Savannah decided to go with us anyway (without her dad) because she'd already taken off work also. To complicate things even more - Danielle's boyfriend Zac had gotten into a fight with his mom and wassn't able to go. We found this out 1 day before we were ready to take off. Danielle was bummed out but she got over it. Sooo... at 4 a.m. on the 20th of July, 2 car loads of us took off to the mountains! We arived at our CRAZY nice cabin, The Wild Daisy, at Cobbly Nob resorts in Gatlinburg - around 3 p.m because traffic SUCKED and I forgot the best route to get to our cabin. Keith's patience was wearing thin with mine and Amber's navigational skills by the time we got there! I guess the funniest part of the ride down was watching Keith trying not to road rage! lol We were so tired.

Gatlinburg...The Great Smoky Mountains

This is the view from on top of one mountain overlooking Gatlinburg TN - The Great Smoky Mountains! I never get tired of this. It's great because even the kids were excited and in awe. I got to see the mountains through new eyes when Keith, Amy and Aubrie looked at them for the first time. We could definitely see why they're called "Smoky" (the Indian spelling).

Aub and Auntie Shell

On the first full day in the mountains, Keith and Amy went to take care of all of the paper work involved with their upcoming wedding. I took ALL of the kids to hike through the mountains, scout some water falls and just appreciate nature.

This is a picture of me and my new niece, Aubrie at Laurel Falls. We spent a couple hours here just playing in the waterfall. Aubrie had a blast because she'd never played in a waterfall before. She did have a pretty hard time walking on the slippery rocks. She fell pretty hard one time, but so gracefully that she was able to save her digital camera from smashing on the ground! Yay Aubrie!

Amber and Danielle at Laurel Falls

As usual, Amber and Danielle were the thrill seekers at Laurel Falls too. They made it most of the way up the slippery, wet rocks without falling.

We all saw a black bear climbing a tree on the way to the falls but we couldn't get a clear enough picture. Last year, Amber and Danielle got right IN the mama bears face to take pictures! Genious children I have, eh? Thank God, they didn't get close enough this year.

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After we trecked back from Laurel Falls, we found a little roadside park at the foot of the mountain and we stopped for lunch. I love this picture because this is the place where the older girls played house in the water with the 3 younger girls. They had so much fun pretending that the big rocks were their apartments and a smaller rock was their cell phone. They even found a crawfish and pretended that it was the lobster they were going to have for dinner that night. It was cute to see one of them on their rock cell phone, calling all of the others to invite them to their apartment for a lobster dinner party! Their imaginations fascinate me:-) It was just so nice to relax and enjoy them.

(Savannah and Danielle are in the back - Hannah, Aub and Julia are in the front row).

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On our way back to the cabin, we found a roadside waterfall that seemed impossible to get to because you had to cross the river down a mountain. OF COURSE, Amber wanted to try - because she's such a thrill seeker. Or she THINKS she is. Which brings me to my next picture...

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I had to take pictures of Amber trying to get to that waterfall. It wass so funny because once she got into the river, I heard this LOUD SCREECHING scream coming from Amber. My heart jumped out of my throat. I thought she'd been bitten by a snake! It turns out that a crawfish pinched her toe. You'd have thought she was being killed! Pretty funny coming from someone who claims to be afraid of NOTHING! lol

BTW... She really DID make it to the waterfall.

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This is (left to right) Julia, me, Danielle,Aub and Hannah - Julia's best friend. Hannah goes everywhere with us. We were waiting along side the road for Amber to swim through the dangerous crawfish waters! lol

We were pretty tired when we left the mountains and actually couldn't wait to get back to the cabin and chill in the hot tub with our strawberry daquaries (the kids had virgin daquaries of course). We slept pretty good that night.

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On day 2, we packed up the family and spent a very expensive day at Splash Country, in Pigeon Forge TN. We had a great time and got to ride MOST of the rides before it started to rain. They were so nice at Splash Country though because they gave us rain checks (good for a whole day) even though we were only rained out for 1/2 hour before the park closed. We were ready to go home anyway. The worst part of the day was trying to leave in the disorganized mess of traffic in the parking lot. People were seriously trying to kill each other.

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Notice the sign to the left? I believe it say's "location station"? They have these things set up for kids to put their armbands under this little detector that tells them where their parents are if they happen to find themselves lost. The MOST hillarious thing about the Splash Country day was when my brilliant 24 y/o daughter (who's in college, btw...) convinced us ALL that these were "LOTION stations". She really believed that these little booths dispensed sunscreen for free. We believed her because we really didn't read them closely. We just thought Dolly Parton's people were being extremely generous because they charged such outrageous prices for their tickets. Imagine my surprise when I realized that I would have to indeed PURCHASE a $15 bottle of Hawaiin Tropic! lol I wonder why I still take her word for ANYTHING. lol

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Day 3 - My brother gets married and I miss the wedding (details in a previous post). After the wedding, Keith and Amy decide to do something with Aubrie by themselves to celebrate being a family for the first day. Amber, Savannah, Danielle, Julia, Hannah and I decide to go into Gatlinburg TN to see the sights. It's a busy, touristy little town filled with cool things to do and LOTS of shopping. Our first stop was The Ripley's Aquarium of the Smokies. You probably can't tell by my extremely amatuer picture, but there is a diver in this aquarium. It was pretty cool.

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We were able to stand on this moving escalator that went under the aqurium. This is the bottom of the beautiful sawfish. I wish I could have gotten a good picture of the sharks. This was pretty cool though.

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While exploring and deep in thought, I heard someone yelling my name from up above. Apparently, Amy and Keith had the same idea! It was cool to meet up with them for lunch. Cute little rain poncho's eh? lol At least my group of kids made it into this place before the storm! lol

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Here's Amber trying to pick up some kind of sea creature. I don't like slimy fish so I wouldn't touch it. Yuk!

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This is Julia, Hannah, Savannah and Danielle in front of the Great White Shark mouth like the one in the movie Jaws. We took this picture for my MIA niece Lauren, who is TERRIFIED of sharks and still believes that they reside in swimming pools and fresh water lakes! lol She used to think that if she left the water running in the bath tub, a shark would come out of the spout! lol We missed her terribly on this trip. She used to travel with us all of the time but now, it seems, she can't be away from her boyfriend long enough to do fun stuff with us anymore. I hate when they start growing up!

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I'm not really sure what night I took the girls back to Gatlinburg to walk the streets at night. Anyway, we went to eat at Bubba Gump Shrimp. It was a little dissappointing. The service was horrible and the food was only mediocre. It was fun just saying we were there though.

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When we needed our waiter, we had to put up the "Run Forrest Run" sign.

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When we needed the bill, we had to put up the "Stop Forrest Stop" sign. This did NOT insure that we'd actually GET service! lol The thing that really pissed me off about here is that they didn't offer to help clean up the mess when Hannah knocked her iced tea over onto a lady and her table. HOW EMBARRASSING! Amber and I had to clean up the lady's purse, the lady and the floor because the waiter wouldn't even OFFER to help! I couldn't believe it.

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Julia laughed so hard she

cried when mommy had to feed her! lol (I know, I'm evil) Anyway, she ordered a really expensive dish and wasn't told that it was going to be a spicy hot dish. Nowhere in the description said that it was going to be hot. I made Julia think she was going to have to eat the whole plate of food and it was so hot she was crying! After a few bites, I told her I was only joking. You know, they wouldn't give her another plate of food that wasn't spicy hot? They just let us pay for it. I think she must have drank 5 huge glasses of iced tea that night!

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After our bad experience at Bubba Gump Shrimp, we went to burn some more money at an arcade. Here's Amber shooting some hoops. She used to play basketball in high school and is still pretty good at it:-)

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We finished off the night by pigging out on ice cream at Baskin Robbins. Notice Julia and Aubrie's matching shirts? They're the first of many matching items that they had to have. I'm so glad they hit it off so well. Now they're like lifetime cousins.

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This was so cool! My mom hid some money in my car for us all to be able to do something fun together. We chose the Gatlinburg Sky Lift. We took our trip on the last day that Keith, Amy and Aubrie were there. They thought it was beautiful. I'm glad we chose this:-) Thanks Mom!

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I had these shirts made for the little girls to remember their trip together. I gave it to them on the last day that Aubrie was with us. It was sad to see them go. Keith and Amy cooked for us every day that we were there (at least breakfast) so we got spoiled. Now we'd have to cook breakfast, lunch and dinner for ourselves! lol Seriously, we missed them for a lot more than just the cooking:-)

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On our first day without Keith and his family, we went horseback riding through the mountains. It was fun because it was an unguided trail which meant that we had a lot of freedom with our horses. Look how goofy Danielle looks trying to ride her horse. You can definitely tell that she's not meant to be a rancher! We had so much fun here though.

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These were the mountains as we saw them from a top our horses. I'm not sure what I did to my camera in order to come out with this color... Who knows... But again, it was breathtaking!

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Me and Julia with Hannah looking disgusted in the background:-)

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After horseback riding, we went to another roadside park inside Cades Cove. This is Hannah enjoying her grapes. It was just so nice to be able to pull over and not be crunched for time. We took all the time that we wanted to. I'm not used to relaxing this way.

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This is the trail leading to The Elijah Oliver Homestead in Cades Cove. I thought this was such a good picture of the girls on a semi long trek.

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The two pictures on the right (and the one below to the right) are Amber pretending to be Carrie Ingles (sp?) on Little House on the Prarie. lol In the begonning of the show, it shows little Carrie running through a field and falling. Amber tried (pitifully) to imitate. She had the other tourists who were also visiting the Oliver Homestead laughing at her. I was cracking up! lol

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After visiting the Elijah Oliver Place, we took a drive toAbrams Falls. This is also in Cades Cove. We saw so many deer and antelope. We even saw a bear running through a field. I did get a picture of the bear but it didn't turn out very good so I won't subject you to it:-) Savannah and I dropped Amber, Danielle, Julia and Hannah off to hike the Abrams Falls trail. Savannah was "too tired" to do it so she drove with me to the Cades Cove visitor center.

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Savannah at an old chicken coup. There was a sign that said: WARNING SNAKES! She still wanted to get this picture for her dad.

After this, I drove for ANOTHER hour and a half through the Cades Cove traffic to circle back around and pick up the other girls. I can't say that I was enjoying the scenery at this point because I was SO tired. I still haven't fully recovered from the last surgery so it doesn't take me much. Savannah was no help because she slept the whole way. I was seriously ready for bed! lol

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I will leave you with this beautiful trail in Cades Cove.

All in all, we had an awesome time. There were a few rough patches between Amber and I, but we got through them. It's just hard to do a huge family vacation when you're still sick, you know? I've decided that Amber is the most HARD HEADED kid in the world! Hmmm... Wonder where she got THAT from? Here's a clue... It wasn't from her dad! lol

If you're thinking of visiting the Smoky Mountains, DON'T go in July. After the fourth of July through August, the traffic will drive you INSANE. We spent most of our time in traffic, no matter where we tried to go. Oh, and, Tennessee seriously needs some help with their mapping skills! Everyone we talked to (tourist wise) was having some deep issues with reading the maps there. I was glad to know that it wasn't just me, Amber and Keith! lol

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Chicken Soup is good for a broken heart... Part 2

nobody@vox.com(shellakers) — Mon, 08 Sep 2008 14:45:47 -0700

I didn't tell you this... BUT I told her so. I could see this coming weeks ago and I tried to warn her, but being 15 and all knowing took precidence over my long career specializing in broken hearts. So, as if I'd never warned her at all, Danielle's heart is once again broken. It took her by complete surprise. She's trying to put a brave face on this broken heart and I will admit that it seems a little easier for her this time. She's just very down.

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I don't think I've made it a secret that I don't like the idea of Danielle dating at all but I'm having to give in a teensy little bit. Thank GOD she's only had boyfriends that I've liked (cause you KNOW it's always all about me! lol). She's been "dating" (otherwise known as supervised visitation) Zac for 6 months now. When she falls in love, she's proving to be completely loyal and 100% dedicated. This has kind of been a difficult teenage relationship because they haven't been able to see each other any more than once every 3 weeks or once a month. It just works out that way because Zac goes to a different school and he's in football. Danielle can't see anybody during the week because of school obligations and she's with her dad every other weekend which made it only possible for her to see Zac on my weekends with her. It's kind of a crazy schedule. During the summer, we were gone most of the time so it made it hard for her even then. Zac was invited to go with us but his mom said no because she needed him to babysit. It's just life. They were able to talk every night after 9 p.m though (because nights and weekends are free for Zac:-)

Things started to get a little stressed when the kids went back to school. I suspect that Zac had a girlfriend on the side or was interested in someone else. He stopped calling so much and didn't want to do anything with Danielle. He never used to pass up a chance to spend time with her. I knew it wass over a couple of weeks ago when we went to Texas and asked him to go. He didn't want to. Danielle talked to him about the change in attitude and told him that if he wanted to break up, he just needed to say it. He strongly denied wanting to break up with her and professed his "undying love". Girls, how many times have we heard this from someone who wanted to have his cake and eat it too? lol I think I've said it before, I'd rather have the broken heart thing happen to me a million times than to see one of my babies go through this. Unfortunately, this is all part of growing up. So sad. I hate it because Danielle has been asked out so many times and she's always been very faithful to Zac. Come to think of it --- That's a good thing. It's a testimony to her own good character. Her dad and I raised her that way. I do want to see her have fun with her young life though. I'm not so sure how that would work when she's always in a long term relationship. I digress... Zac broke up with her Saturday. The only reason he gave her is that (and here we go with the lame break up lines) she deserves better than him. He feels like he's treated her badly for a while now and he thinks she should see other people. I really like Zac and I know it's too hard at their young age to hold things together. They shouldn't even have to worry about it. I'd like to protect her from all of this and say that she just doesn't need to have a boyfriend but I think I'm probably fighting a losing battle.

Celine Dion All By Myself

Like I said, Danielle's handling this better than I thought she would. I am a little concerned because she told me that she just feels so empty inside and so alone. I wonder if I've taught her that she can't live without someone. It's nice to NOT be alone but it would be even nicer if the person we chose to spend our time with actually loves us back, you know? I'd rather her learn to be comfortable in her own skin. I'm afraid I haven't been the best example though. Maybe she'll have the attitude that it's best to do the opposite of what mom did. I hope so:-)

In the mean time... I've made an extra big pot of my homemade chicken and rice soup for dinner. I've heard Chicken soup is good for the soul but who says it can't be good for a broken heart too?

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My new family:-)

nobody@vox.com(shellakers) — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 09:05:54 -0700

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Trying to play catch up here:-)

At the end of July, my family (minus Ben) and my brother's family (minus Lauren) went to the Smoky Mountains for a much needed vacation. The highlight of the trip was the addition to our family. My brother and Amy decided to get married in a small chapel nestled in the mountains. The sucky thing about it was the fact that I forgot they were an hour ahead of us in the mountains. We're on central time and they're on eastern time. I was late to Keith's wedding and I missed the whole thing (except for pictures)! It was funny because I kept wondering when they were going to start the wedding (once I got there) and it had already happened.

The good news is that I COULD NOT be happier to have Amy for a sister! She's totally nonpsychotic! lol I went to school with her actually. So not only do I have a new sister-in-law, she's also a psychologist and I think that's just what our family needs! lol Poor Amy! hehe

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Another VERY cool thing is that I also have a new niece!!!! She's 8 years old and fits into the family beautifully. She and Julia are very close, which is good because Julia's never had anyone related to us that she was close to. Danielle and Lauren are only a few months apart and have always been more like sisters than cousins. Now Julia has Aubrie.

We're expecting a new baby too! Keith and Amy are due in the beginning of March, right around Danielle's birthday! I thought we were all done having babies so this is especially exciting. Keith is hoping for a boy because none of us have a boy. I don't think it matters much to Amy though, as long as it's healthy. Aubrie wants a girl so she can play dress up with it. lol

So that's the scoop about my new family:-)

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Say hello to Lauren (my Mini-Me)!

nobody@vox.com(shellakers) — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 12:14:00 -0700

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We have a new member in Voxland! I'm proud to introduce my pride and joy, my first-born niece, Lauren, to our awesome little vox community! She's an awesome writer so it won't be painful to read her entries (thank God! lol). In fact, I'm trying to talk her into going into journalism or writing - of some sort. If she gets through these next few years of being a teenager, I expect her to be somebody! Of course, she's only 15 and she drives me completely INSANE sometimes. She's WAY too headstrong for her own good, lol. Hmmm... wondeer where she gets THAT from????

Hop over to her site and take a look at what she has to say. Warning: She doesn't hold back and to some people, she may offend. For me, I'm just proud. She's not afraid to say how she feels. She speaks her mind and I think that's so important in this day and age.

Lauren

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Getting my groove back!

nobody@vox.com(shellakers) — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 17:17:41 -0700

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First thing's first... THANK ALL OF YOU who have sent prayers, good thoughts or took the time to wonder about me. I haven't felt like myself for quite some time and really didn't have anything to say. I didn't want to always burden all of you with the bad things that were happening, and that's pretty much all I felt like I was doing on my Vox. I hope you can understand.

Here's a somewhat healthy picture of me and my brother taken 3 weeks ago on our family vacation (so everyone can see that I'm alive and kicking! lol)

For those of you who have been inquiring and worrying about me, I'll try to explain what's been happening. As you know, in March, I had almost a complete stomachectomy. My stomach is the size of a walnut now. I seemed to come out of this surgery with flying colors. No more bleeding internally. On the day I was released, unbeknownst to me, my stomach ruptured - after returning home. I didn't know this had happened because I was so used to the pain. By the time Ben took me to the hospital, I was almost dead and my body was infection ridden. Poison had spread. They performed emergency surgery on April 10 (my birthday), only 10 days after the lasst surgery. My body wasn't ready for it. Long story short, they tell me I was placed in a coma and was in intensive care for quite a while. From what I understand, there wasn't a lot of hope for me to pull out of this one. It would be a miracle if I lived. BUT I DID! Guess I fooled everyone! lol I think, by now the doctors know that they can't kill me! At this point, I don't know what it would take.

The down side of all of this is that I've been in this weird depression state that I'm trying so hard to get rid of. They tell me that it's pretty normal for people to feel this way after going through something so traumatic. I don't know. It's just not like me to feel this way. I think I'm finally getting back to normal though. Baby steps, right?

I know enough about me to not promise I'll be back here on Vox permanently. I just have to take one day at a time. I want you all to know that I've thought about each and every one of you and have missed you dearly. Some of you had become my good friends. I feel bad for not keeping my friends "in the loop" but I tend to retreat when things are too bad for me to handle. I'm trying to work on this serious flaw too... lol... we'll see!

I'm happy to be back for now and God willing, for a very long time:-)

Love and hugs to all of you!

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You Have My Heart-)

nobody@vox.com(shellakers) — Fri, 09 May 2008 11:44:22 -0700

I don't really know what to say, it's been so long. I've just only now read all of the well wishes and prayers that all of you have sent me through some of my cousin Netta's posts and my daughter Danielle. The pm's were amazing and I wish I had the energy to respond to everyone the way that I should.

Here's the story in a nutshell. I was released from the hospital after my 3rd surgery (where they took out more of my stomach and now it's the size of a walnut). It was on my birthday, April 10. On April 10 my stomach perforated at home. I'm not sure what happened. I'm so used to pain that I didn't know it was really any different than my regular pain so I waited almost too long to get to the hospital. I waited hours. By the time I got back there, my body was racked with poison and I was dying. The surgeon knew I wouldn't live without surgery but he also didn't think I'd live with it. It had only been 10 days since my last surgery and my insides were like the consistency of gum. He didn't think I could be closed back up successfully. There wasn't a lot of hope for me, from what I understand. Everyone was trying to get used to the idea that I would die.

I don't know why God chose me to live. I don't know why I'm so blessed. All of your prayers and all of my family and friends prayers were answered. I'm really not supposed to be here. I'm humbled by the outpouring of love from all of you. Thank you just isn't enough but I don't have any other words.

I've been out of the hospital for a week now. Today is the first day I've felt like being on the computer. I promise to keep up with everyone as much as I can now. I've missed all of you so much and I just can't wait to see what's going on with you. I trust that it's been good (or at least I'm praying it's been a good life for all of you). I love you all, and again, THANK YOU and HUGE ((HUGS))

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Me & My Monday - Late submission

nobody@vox.com(shellakers) — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 13:28:46 -0700

It's Tuesday, I know, I know:-)

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In keeping with current events, I've decided to bring you ********drumroll please******** - Me and my drug allergy bracelet. Kind of.... different:-)

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Black Monday

nobody@vox.com(shellakers) — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 13:55:07 -0700

Hey! Sorry I haven't been able to talk to all of you lately. I just read all of the comments that everyone sent with my last post and I wanted to let everyone know that your prayers worked and were very badly needed. I don't know why I'm here or why I'm healing the way that I am. I can't make this a very long post but I wanted to at least try to tell you how much you did for me. It looks like, if all keeps going well, I might get to go home Wednesday, were I'll be around here so much more. I'll also get to feel and be there in this beautiful SPRING that we're all happening, instead of being wheeled in a chair around the hospital grounds! Although, Hotel, St. Anthony's DOES have some mighty fine daffodills! hehehe

I went into surgery last Thursday. I haven't even asked how many hours it took. MANY is what I'm guessing. The surgery went well. I have the teeniest part of what used to be my stomach. All the scar tissue and ulcerated material have been cut away. Good job. The surgery is never the problem with me. The problem is recovery. I can't quote you on this, but I am told by a reliable source (my mom) that I needed the rapid response team to bring me out of convulsions from a severe drug reaction. I call it a LACK OF DRUG reaction. I felt every nerve in my body EXPLODE from pain and every bone seemed to come alive - racked with pain. It wasn't pretty and nothing worked. I'm allergic to most of the good drugs, like morphine or anything like morphine. It was like trying to recovery (on the first day out of surgery) with nothing more than a tylenol! Was I praying to die? Um, yes. I would have paid my mom or day to kill me those few days. I let them know as much. I don't know how my mom was able to watch me scream in pain and she still has some of her mind. She was here alone with me that night. Ben had a high fever and the flu. He was able to be here after Mom and Amber put in their time with the hard headed patient (me).

I guess I'm recovering better than they've ever seen anyone recover from this type surgery. It's amazing. It also still hurts but a little mor dealable, THANK YOU JESUS! lol I'm still here and I'll be home soon. This week, I'm fairly certain.

All of your comments made me cry. That isn't a lie. Maybe I'm lacking sleep and need pain meds but I have the best friends on vox and probably in the world! (((((HUGS)))))

Amber anad my family thank everyone for their prayers too. (She wanted me to mention that she was thankful to all of you).

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Keeping you posted

nobody@vox.com(shellakers) — Mon, 31 Mar 2008 19:08:48 -0700

I'm very sleepy now so if my spelling makes you have hot flashes or my grammer send you into panic attacks, I apologize in advance. I go into surgery tomorrow morning at 9:30 am. The surgeon and I have decided to only take a portion of my stomach out, as opposed to the whole entire stomach. He'll take out the ulcers and the scar tissue also, This way, if there's any chance for my stomach to heal, it still can. He believes in being conservative with his approach and I appreciate that. The downside of this approach is that I can start growing ulcers immediately, like I did this last time and he may have to eventually take out the whole stomach. The bright side of this is that my size 5 jeans are becoming a realistic dream! lol

Anyway, before the surgery, I'll be tested for pancriatic cancer. Apparently pancreatic tumors are responsible for ulcers that won't heal either. If they find tumors, surgery will be postponed until there is a new plan of attack.

Tomorrow, I'm going to need all those prayers that you've been so generous with. I'm not so afraid. I know what to expect even though this surgery is more complex than the last 2 were. The recovery time doe make me a little nervous. It hurts like a B!#$%! I love you guys!

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A humbling experience (lesson learned)

nobody@vox.com(shellakers) — Sun, 30 Mar 2008 10:39:31 -0700

Today, one of my nurses told me that I had such a good attitude about everything that I was going through. She said that I should start a support group for women who are going through similar issues, when I got done being sick! lol I told her that I don't think I'd be good at that because I don't have patience with people who whine and a lot of times, I hear women (and men) whine about their situations instead of trying to make the best of it. The nurse said that that was why I would be good at it. She thought I could bring things into perspective with other people. I have the attitude that my illness is just a "thing". It's really the way that I feel. We deal with what we're given and there really isn't a LOT of time to whine and feel sorry for myself. This is just the hand that I was dealt. "If not me, then who else", is kind of my motto. My bad ass attitude got put into place today.

Right after I announced how little tolorance I had with others, I went outside to smoke. While outside, I met a woman about my age. She'd snuck out also. We started talking and I learned that she was terrified because the doctors thought she had lung cancer. Her story started 5 years ago when she went to the doctor because she'd just been so tired. She was usually a high energy person. She thought maybe she was low on iron or something like that. It ends up that she had hepatitus C, the deadly kind. They'd given her 10 years to live 5 years ago. More currently, Thursday, she went to the ER because she couldn't get rid of the flu. It just wasn't going away. They ran some tests and so far they think she has lung cancer. Tomorrow, they'll do a scope on her to biopsy. If the scope doesn't work, they'll cut her chest open to biopsy that way. WOW! Instantly, I knew that God was reminding me that I didn't know how other people felt. I might have felt like this woman was whining because she went to the ER with flu symptoms. God was trying to put me in my place. I prayed for her.

On the way back up to my room, some very sad man held the elevator open for me. He got off on the same floor as I did which is the cancer floor. Out of the blue, he says "So this is the BAD floor, isn't it?". I said that I'd heard stories of it being the BAD floor (meaning cancer floor) but not everyone had cancer that was on this floor. He said that the doctors just called him because his 40 year old sister who has liver cancer had MAYBE 72 hours to live. He started crying. Now I'm thinking to myself "Ok God. I get it. I should have NEVER assumed that everyone besides me was a whiner". I am humbled.

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